Anyone else shocked by the fast approaching November? I can feel the Scorpio season breathing down my neck..
With many deep healings + learnings this year, I’m starting to feel the urge to seal off this crazy decade with some rituals and ceremonies. 2009 was the beginning of my end, I was not in a good place (in all ways possible), it got a bit better for a couple of years and then 2012 saw my absolute rock bottom. Things got very painful, very ugly, very scary.
I survived. And here we are, slowly nearing the end of 2019, and I feel that I can look back at this crazy decade (in which I’ve gone to hell and back), and honestly pat myself on a shoulder for being here now. On the other side. Healthy, strong, at peace with myself. Every day growing. Every day shedding the onion layers of past traumas, fears and pains. An active participant in remembering the truth of my Soul. Cultivating an internal ecology of trust + surrender that feels so good - even though there was a time when everythin...
What for the mind is an end, for the Heart is simply another match to ignite the sacred flames. It bursts into radiance, only to be reborn again.
I choose to die to myself because that is the portal to new life. To be burned in love - by love, for love. Ready to die into new life within me, become born again, into new form, more aligned + alive than ever before.
I am reunited with an ancient memory of love so powerful that it explodes within me. Life happens through me. Love is my nature.
Through every bit of pain, betrayal, grief, this Heart grew stronger, ready to ignite into new life, into the dance that is not a funeral procession but the rite of spring.
This Heart is ready to leap with new life, to be infused with joy, innocence and the passion of deepest devotion. I am safe. This Heart knows the way. Love is my nature. So be it. What a journey. I am humbled by the depths of subconscious and the power of the mind, and forever in awe of the tools available in Nature to rise through it...
Last week my husband and I went on a fancy date. I was having a moment, thinking that I’m really proud to be a European, and that even though I relish in nature living, and have had the most amazing 6 years mostly away from the Western ways, I miss it to some extent. I miss some of it. And I sure miss my family. Since I left for India I have only been able to see them once a year.. My gorgeous godson, my niece + nephew, all growing up so fast without much of me around. My parents are ageing and grandparents transitioning. Suddenly it bothers me more than ever before, and I yearn for my roots.
So well, we have made a very sudden spontaneous decision to leave Peru and relocate to SPAIN. I love the Sacred Valley and have had the most amazing three years living in Peru, but as we feel ready to start a family I’m also feeling ready to be closer to mine, to live somewhere less dramatic than 3000m above sea level, and to bring everything that I have learnt here, all the gifts that I have recei...
If life is happening FOR YOU then all situations and relationships have symbolic importance, even if you cannot immediately understand them.
If life is happening FOR YOU then people and situations show up in service to your awakening, reflecting to you your own “stuckness”, your habitual mental patterns, your judgements, defensiveness, anger, self-pity, attachment.
If life is happening FOR YOU then you can learn to trust what you cannot see.
To think back to all those years when my mind was constantly busy obsessing over being “skinny”, and even when awfully thin still convinced that I was “fat” (and thus unworthy / unsuccessful), barely eating or overeating when I felt that I have “failed”. The years of spending a ton of money on products and make up, and wearing my face caked in layers of chemicals.
The years of hating my hair and constantly dying it a different color, and always getting a blow dry before going out. How did I even have enough money for all this? A lot of the time I didn’t, and got in debt.
The years of wearing all sorts of cage-like push-up bras to pretend (to whom?) that my breasts are much larger.
Ufff. I’m tired just writing this. And relieved to no longer believe that unless I fit a certain imposed “beauty standard”, I won’t be beautiful.
It’s been a long journey of healing the deeply rooted belief of unworthiness and habitual comparison, of silencing The Judge, and giving myself permission to be...